Welcome to Hell, How May I Help You? Chapter 3

     I learned to deal with the pain. I had lost all sense of mentel awareness. Was this what it was like to have your abilities disappear? I had them torn from me. I used to feel, with great imensity, the emotions of those around me. Now I felt... nothing. Sometimes my awareness came back. I came for fleeting seconds, making me fully aware, and left. It was like a slap in the face. Only I welcomed it. I wanted it to stay. As I spent more time on the pill I began to lose more and more awareness. I always felt lost and there was less and less time that I could span in my mind before the thoughts became hazy. It got to the point where I couldn't remember anything clearly. I ended up going into high school and getting great grades, although they were never good enough. I just wanted my head back to normal. I learned to laugh again. I learned that I could hold someone close, that I could let myself out of the self-imposed cloud of mystery. I began to make new friends. I lost my old shyness. I let my heart free. I let it sing. I sang loud ad proud, even if nobody heard me. I began to see friends again and just told them the truth. I found that they were more worried about me not going anywhere more than me taking an embarrassing medication.

     Slowly, things got better. I even laughed again. I still had fits of sudden sadness, but in less frequency. Not because of the pill, but because of my personal will. I happened to be in fifth period algebra- lunch period algebra. We had two bells mid-period to tell when lunch was. The first bell was when there was four minutes until lunch. A boy from the room next door began to yell "LUNCH" at the first bell every day. That's when I really started to laugh again. One day he ran into the classroom screaming his head off, flailing like an idiot, and made sure to disrupt us. It started a war.

     On another day, when I had science before last period English class, a boy in the class brought in his guitar. We all had a little pow-wow circle around him and another boy who brought in his guitar too. We began singing songs together. We sang "I'm a Believer" and I had so much fun. I found that not everyone was out to hurt. They both complimented me on my voice.

     The dreaded mid-tems came and I was sick on day one. I almost couldn't make it up; my mom almost didn't call the school to tell them I was sick and not skipping. The second day I had my English and Science exams. I aced both. When I was leaving my friend ran up to me and asked if I would go down to Nikki's Pizza with her, her boyfriend, and some of his friends, all guys. I agreed and we had a great time. We got four large pizza's and two two-liter bottles of soda. We walked back to the school and I just chilled with some guys that were in the halls. If I had to rate the day, it would be a nine out of ten; because my friend and I were the only girls.

     After that, I had day three pizza with other friends in Nikki's. We hung out in the library after that. The final day of exams I had algebra and make-ups. I had to make up my Spanish and Gym exams. I aced both of them too. I was on my way to the end of my misery. A lot happened between mid-terms and the "three weeks to finals!" mark, but none of it was very eventful. The kids in the class next to my algebra class marched in and all screamed "LUNCH" at the first bell. It was pretty funny. And a lot easier to understand that "factoring second degree equations" by far. Then the power went out and everybody freaked out in the school. I was geeking out though. You never know what will happen in a small town's high school.